It took a few weeks of us being back from burying Brock to get the boys onto a new normal schedule. They knew something was not right and it showed. They didn't eat well, didn't sleep well, and were just not the same. Although I am now also completely down with the new routine...I am just not completely accepting of the fact that I have a new schedule which revolves around three and not four. I do not suppose I ever will be. We were not ready to get rid of Brock's and Keaton's room nor Brock's crib and things so we just did a little rearranging. I could not let Keaton sleep by himself as he no longer had his bed buddy; so I moved all three of the boys into the same crib. They instantly began sleeping better. Even though for now they share one crib, I went ahead and moved keaton's crib into his brothers' room along with his dresser and things. We made Keaton and Brock's room the new playroom still leaving Brock's crib with an outfit of his and a story book inside. I figure once the kiddos are old enough to utilize the playroom; the crib will come in handy for the sleepy, ill, or fussy baby who needs to be put down. The old playroom was made into another guest bedroom as we seemed to keep company lately.
I am constantly reminded of my sweet boy every time I look at his brothers, hear the band perry's song that played at his service on the radio, or every time we bring the boys out and people address the kids as triplets...my heart just breaks. I don't expect people to know the situation and to read our minds as to what happened and to just know that the boys are quads and not triplets...but it is one of the hardest things to hear. Some days I correct and say no they were actually quads, some days I just say yes here are three babies, some days I even find myself ignoring the attention with a smile and a quick walk away. I can not accept the term triplets; but hope and pray that at some point the hurt related to that statement will subside.
When we were pregnant with the quads we applied for but was denied the Humanitarian...this would allow us to move to a base near home so we had support and help with the boys. When we came back from Florida, Jeff's command recommended us apply again as now we qualify. It is upsetting to know the same order we were once denied,, we are now eligible for and with one boy less. It is ironic to me how that works, however; I also know what is in God's plan as to where we should be...we will be. We should know within the month whether we will be moving back home or close to it at a nearby base. I would honestly be content either way as I have thoroughly accepted that I have no control...He has it all and is far better at managing it.
The boys' celebrated their first Halloween this year as super heroes! Grayson was Batman, Camden was his sidekick Robin and Keaton was Captain America...if he were here Brock would have been Superman; instead his cape and hat is a keepsake in my hope chest. I have to admit...they were the cutest super heroes I have ever seen!!!!
On another note...I ordered a choo choo wagon so it would make me taking the boys out on my own more doable. I just LOVE IT!!! They each have their own "train car" in which for now I place a bobby inside so they are able to sit up. It is just too stinkin cute!!! It allows us to go on walks or chug on down to the commissary or bx for an escape out of the house.
It is fun to see the boys grow and develop. What use to be babies who eat and sleep all day are now evolving into little boys who love to smile and interact. They are just fun!!! It makes for a longer and harder day on me as they actually require attention as they don't sleep all day...but I love every exhausting minute of my day! What a month this has been; I thank God on a daily (sometimes multi-daily) basis for my sweet family, faith, and supportive friends...how blessed times four I remain!
|The boys with a few of their favorite Nicu nurses at the pumkin patch (Kayce is behind the camera!!!:)|
|Introducing...Batman, Robin, and Capt America!|
|Daddy and the boys after an afternoon of shopping|
|Choo Choo time!|