Friday, December 23, 2011

Easy Button?

Whenever it comes to poo...lack there of, dark, etc. I get concerned...with good reason having been through all we did with Brock. Camden has always been a true poo champion as he is on the Nutramigen (partially digested not milk formula). Grayson and Keaton on Neosure which is milk based and neither poo regularly....they are once a weekers at most. We have been assured that this is just their norm and since they have self induced poos to begin with; they were fine.

So Grayson began getting really dark stools about a month and a half ago. I took him in and they tested for blood; all came back well. His pooing or lack their of became increasingly worse. He became much more fussy as he was trying to get "it" out. A couple of weeks ago while I was feeding them lunch he began to scream unconsoleably. I checked to see if he had a dirty diaper and saw that his rectum appeared to be inside out. I freaked out. After finally finding someone to watch the other two; I rushed him to the ER. He was diagnosed with having a rectal prolapse which they pushed in what had not gone in on its own and also did a physical exam... paranoid me wanted to make sure all else was well. They told us to keep his stool soft by giving him prune juice or karo syrup in his bottles which I did at the next feed.

It wasnt but days later that Grayson continued having little hard stools and would scream as if he were in pain. I decided to take him into the after hours clinic where the on call Dr gave him two enimas along with an hour of rectal stimulation. In my opinion what came out was no where compared what was put in. He did however seem a little bit relieved. We followed up with our pediatrician four days later. She recommended we get a sweat test to see if he had cystic fibrosis as rectal prolapse is a warning sing of the disease in babies. The day befroe the Dr we saw in urgent care called to see if we anted a referral to a GI dr. I told the Dr that night all about Brock and wanted him to know my concerns. He felt that a trip to GI was necesary.

I took him to see GI where we began the apt with the story of Brock. He was already familiar as he reviewed the mistreatment of Brock's case. He also gave me answers I have wanted this entire time; but wouldnt seek the answers. He did not believe Brock had Hirschprungs Disease. he thought that Brock developed NEC while in the NICU (which he had a couple of work ups for; but always came back as to being fine so feeds began again and meds were ended). So a piece of intestine esentially died off causing an obstruction. He never pooed which ended up with him having colitis...and that and sepsis is all she wrote.

So...he was well aware my concern. After hearing Grayson's story and examining his rectum....he concluded he was full of poo and could still feel the prolapse. He as well...had no concern of a blockage or Hirschprungs Disease as he was able to feel and get out some poo. He insisted we stop the mirilax as he did not like children under 1 to use it and said to use 100% juice such as apple and prune. Since we were already at the hospital he sent us for an Xray and also felt that Grayson needed the sweat test for cystic fibrosis which he was able to schedule. I asked if it was needed that Grayson have the barium dye enima (the same as Brock had which showed some sort of block or possible Hirschprungs Disease). He felt that it truly was not needed but if it would make me sleep better and give him complete reassurance...than why not.

I took him to get the xray (which showed a ton of backed up poo) and called to get the barium dye study scheduled. We switched Grayson's formula whcih the GI Dr recommended and he instantly began to poo. This almost made me not want to put him throught the enima study. We took him anyway. I could not bare to take another son to a place that I took Brock just 2 days before he died...it was overwhelming. So while Jeff toook Grayson to what we believed to be a now pointless apt. I took the other two for a walk. While walking back home, I called Jeff to what I thought he would say was all ok. Not so much. Grayson's test looked as Brock's did, there was a narrowing and then a build up of poo. i frantically called my pediatrician to see what we should do. She had already contacted GI and the surgeon. An urgent surgeon consult was put in and they now have three days to call and schedule a biopsy. It is either Hirschprungs disease or the milk allergy which caused the severe block. All I can think of is how I can not lose another baby. She assured me we are not close to how bad Brock got. Brock developed colitis from never going poo. I was told to make sure he has at least a stool a day, not run a fever, and continues to eat. If any of this changes; we go straight to the hospital.

It is hard not to think about the worst or relate the situation to that of Brock's. However; I know I am not in control and HE is. God please be with my baby and keep him safe from harms way. How blessed I am for faith and for a precious little fighter. This is the boy who lived his first month on a respirator, who we were told would come back from hernia surgery on a vent, and who was suspected to not come home until way after the other boys. All he defied....

Thursday, December 22, 2011

A Day In the Life

5:30am- Momma wake up time. This is my time to brush my teeth and go to the gym; my one time a day just for me (no time to do hair or get dressed so I sleep in my gym clothes;)

6:45- Home and Chores. Before babies wake up I like to have things "armed and ready". Formula jugs are mixed and 8 am bottles are prepared with meds and formula. I vacuum the carpets, sweep the floors, and spruce up the downstairs. I also put on a load of laundry.

7am- Jeff comes downstairs to eat breakfast and unload the dishwasher (thankful for this as I despise this chore!!).

7:30- Jeff is off to work. Babies wake up. I go and get each baby, change them, and give him a bottle. Once all three are feeding in their boppy's...Isit to eat a piece of fruit, chug coffee and troubleshoot (fix bottles, burp babies, etc)

8- Take babies upstairs to swing or bounce while I get a quick shower.

8:30- Baby bath time. Each boy is scrubbed up, dressed and enjoys tummy time while his brothers get clean.

9:15- Momma loving. This is when I give each baby their own time while the others are tummy timin. Basically, I act like a complete dork to make them smile and I give and get lots of hugs and kisses.

10:15- Prepare bottles with meds and formula. Bring each baby downstairs, change diaper, put in boppy to feed. I once again sit with the boys and troubleshoot.

10:45- Momma's favorite time of day...NAP TIME!!! Babies sleep together in a pack n play in the living room (The kids have a section of the living room where we live during the day equipped with toys, play pin, changing table,, etc).

11- I make lunch for Jeff and myself. Jeff comes home for 20 or so minutes to eat and I enjoy the adult conversation!

11:30-2- Laundry, bottle washing, house cleaning, measure formula in the next day's jug and make "night time" bottles.

2:30- Prepare bottles with meds and formula. Babies wake up for a diaper change and get fed...I once again trouble shoot.

3- Playtime & Story time! I read them a story as they sit in their bumbos (as long as they will until getting fussy then they go in the boppy) as I read them a story (I try to keep it season related so lately it has been the Gingerbread Boy, etc!!)  Boys rotate through jumpers, exersaucers, floor gym...whatever makes them content and happy! I usually rotate through with the boys so everyone gets some more mommy time!

4- Bring babies in the dining room in front of the window to bounce or swing while I do laundry and cook dinner.

4:45- Prepare bottles with formula and meds. Change babies and feed them. Yet again; I trouble shoot. Jeff usually comes home during this feeding.

5- Babies have tummy time or play under the floor gym while we attempt to eat dinner.

5:30-6:45- Entertain!! Jeff and I lay on the floor with the boys while Nick Jr plays in the background. We sing, dance, and act like fools to get some giggles, smiles, and loving from the boys... and to keep them awake!
6:45- Prepare bottles with formula and meds and mix up some oatmeal (learning to spoon feed). Change babies and put in their pajamas and feed them. AHHHH....almost there.

7:30- Swaddle babies, sing them our goodnight song, put to bed!! They sleep horizontally in one crib while listening to 101.9 the Q:) As I walk the swaddled baby boy up the stairs...I say a little prayer that each goes down calmly...no fights!

7:30- Wash bottles, clean up the kitchen, put a load of laundry on while putting up all of the folded laundry, straiten up the living room.

8:30- Sit!!! I say sit...this is also laundry time, make sure I have everything in line for the next day...a mom's day with multiples is never done!!!! As chaotic, frustrating, never ending a day can be...I look forward to waking up each new morning as I am blessed times 4!

Camden tuckered out

Happy Keaton

Keaton's first bite of pears!

Camden's first bite of pears!

Grayson's first bite of pears!

<3

Grayson and Camden

Camden and Keaton

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Six Months

How my babies are 6 months I just do not know. It is hard to believe that six months ago my fighting 2 pound baby boys came into the world. What once was a frail and tiny little baby, is now a smiling, cooing and rolling over growing baby boy! I get the privilege every morning to go and get three precious little smiling babies to start the day with. It is the hardest job I have ever had...there are no breaks being a mom to multiples. Lunch is taken during nap while folding laundry, preparing the next days bottles, changing out crib sheets....it just doesn't end. But I love it that way. All of the zombie days full of repetition are worth every moment I get to spend with my boys. They are growing to be so much fun! They coo, they smile, they giggle, they roll over...the only way things could be better would be if Brock was here to embark on these memories with us. When I find myself sulking on my loss; I have to remind myself of the angel God has given to my family to watch over us and protect.

The first year of a baby's life is full of firsts. We have continued our firsts as the boys celebrated their first Thanksgiving. They were decked out in the onesie and my first thanksgiving bib. As momma made the turkey, they enjoyed football watching and bouncing chair fun! We spent the day and eating dinner with our wonderful neighbors! The boys got to taste a bit of the Thanksgiving festivities by licking some of Mrs. Jill's delicious banana pudding! I couldn't be more thankful than for the neighbors we are grateful for and have come to love!

Not having Brock here for the Holidays is hard. I was not certain when I went stocking shopping for the boys if I should get him one or not. As I settled on three stockings that I didn't even love, ( just bought because they coordinated with Jeff and my stockings) Kelsie made things right. She got each of my baby boys (of course Brock included) a stocking with their initial on it. Now my home is complete for Christmas....each of my sweet boys has a stocking going up the stair case in birth order. This is just the way it should be. A first Christmas would not be complete without a visit to Santa. We dressed the boys in festive gear (yes it was matching; and a time it was to keep all clean until the picture was taken) and headed to Bass Pro to get a picture with Santa. Santa looked a little weary as the parents of three little boys were walking up to him. He was a trooper though as he took all three. We got the Santa picture....even though it wasn't picture perfect! Camden was just not happy with Santa (although; I do not think Santa was too pleased with him either!!)!

It has become tradition for Jeff and I to take and send out Christmas picture cards. If ever there were a more memorable card year; it was this one, 2011. I found the cutest little reindeer hats for the boys and of course I had to go in search for antlers for Jeff and I to match. Needless to say Jeff was less than happy to have our Christmas card full of antlers....but it was just too cute!Being that Jeff and I do not do surprises well to begin with; we found all excuses as to giving the boys their Christmas gifts as they were purchased! We wanted them each to have some sort of jumper, saucer, etc. Although they are ready for the new and fun the activity centers we bought for them....they are just too small. We pile on the blankets to keep them supported; but are quickly brought to the realization that they are "really" only three months old...not the six that we sing for.

This Wednesday also is the first birthday Jeff will spend as a daddy. Once upon a time I would plan a party that would go into the early morning hours. Now, we will celebrate it with our neighborhood circle with cake and ice cream, followed by our nightly routine with the boys. We wouldn't have it any other way.







Tis the season to be merry and bright. Although I find myself yearning for my sweet Brock to be here on earth...I know he is in a far better place that is always merry and bright. I look forward to all of the firsts that have happened and are to come....even if it is just with three. I know that I am momma to 4 and that my Brock is an angel to our family. I continue to be blessed times four!