Thursday, June 21, 2012

It's Official...They Are Big Boys Now!!!!

The day that marks an epic milestone in a baby's life...hit my three boys on June 6th. They became an official big boy, turning one year old!!!!!!

It was such a bitter sweet day and I suppose will always be. I was so excited (in a sappy, "oh my babies are getting so big and will graduate high school next year if we keep at this rate" kind of way) for my babies to have overcome all adversity to make it to their first birthday...3 months premature, one on the vent for a month, heart surgery at 3 weeks of life, a 3 month NICU stay, oxygen until 6 months, Hisrchprungs Disease....and the list goes on! In the same breath, it is just a sad day. Looking back one year ago, I was being wheeled back to deliver my quadruplets...not three....FOUR! My heart just yearned for my sweet Brock to be here to celebrate his momentous birth with us and his brothers. He fought the same fight they did and came home to grow up with his brothers; but wasn't given the chance. I constantly remind myself that if not for Brock, then my Grayson might not be here too; so in that aspect I try to not be any kind of bitter to the situation...but I still struggle with that battle. We played "If I Die Young" at my baby's funeral and I turn the TV to pop hits while they eat each meal...and it seems as if that song has played everyday, sometimes multiple times....I can't help but to find myself tearing up. It is not a bad thing...just another reminder of my precious angel!

After the boys' sacred morning nap, we packed up to head to Panama City to bring Brock his Birthday gift and to wish him a Happy Birthday and to also take the boys out to an epic first birthday dinner with Nana and Auntie Ilea and Ella. Well....we started out the trip all wrong and should have seen this as an omen for the day!!!!! We took the "scenic" route on a Wednesday morning that was obviously the vacantioner's dream day to come to Destin! We were in the car for what seemed for forever!!!!!!! Once we got home, we took the boys to Nana's work to show then off (she is so proud) and to feed them a snack...needless to say...we took over City Hall!!!!!! Once bellies were full and they had been passed to all of the excited ladies...we went to see Brock. We got him a "Cars" car, four carnation flowers, and a 1 cupcake sign for the ground. I can not begin to describe the emotions I had when singing "Happy Birthday to You, Happy Birthday to You, Happy First Birthday Momma's Sweet Brock....Happy Birthday to You".  That being said, how thankful I am to have the opportunity to go and see my baby on his birthday and that we are not hours apart anymore!

After seeing Brock, we loaded up to head to Pier Park where we intended on having the boys' dinner at Margaritaville. Who would have thought that at 4 pm on a Wednesday afternoon....there would be an hour wait!!!!! My boys' have sat in the car all day as it was, sitting for another hour....they would be done for!!!!!! As bummed as Jeff and I were, we sucked it up and took them to TJIFridays. Fun they had all of the same!!!! ( note to all....they do not sing Happy Birthday; which is all we wanted for our boys....we sang it to them though which is good enough!)!

For their official first birthday party we had Jeff's sister, her husband, their two kids and his mom here to visit! We were doing the Seuss Party theme but this time it would be at the private Hurlbert Beach and Pavilion which would have been perfect!....but it was far from it!!!! From getting balloons, to decorating in what seemed like huricane force winds, to Keaton's name missing on the just all went completely wrong! Once our sweet guests monsooned! We ripped the boys' clothes off, Jeff cut the cake for the guests...and the boys dug into theirs! We had everything to grill burgers and got dogs....but the grill wouldnt stay lit with the horrible conditions! On the positive side...we will NEVER forget their first birthday party!!!!!!!From the pictures my sweet sister in law and neighbor (who is a triplet mom to beautiful 4 year old boys) took; you would never know it was a disasterous day! Although we were not able to release the dozen ballons we worked so hard to get for Sweet Brock...I know he was there with us celebrating the momentous day! And even though I do not have all four of my boys here, I know I have one amazing angel....I am blessed times four!

Friday, June 15, 2012

A Fresh Start/The Epic Move

About the time Grayson's butt was healed; it was time to get ready for our big move to Florida! Before I could concentrate on the move, I had to plan the boys' first birthday party for all of our San Antonio friends who have become family. These are the nurses, doctors, neighbors, etc who were there from the start of the pregnancy and who will remain in our lives no matter the miles apart!

I decided on a Seuss themed party and found "Thing 1, Thing 2 and Thing 3" onesies for the boys' outfits! I never realized just how much effort goes into planning a successful party! It was CRAZY all of the prep work that goes into it! But I must say looking back on was perfect and I would do it again in a heartbeat! From Pinatas to photo props, everyone had a blast! The boys did great considering they were out a nap and were 2 months shy of actually being a year old! Camden thought the cake was the greatest thing EVER as he demolished it! Keaton and Grayson were a bit more cautious! Aunt Barbara was able to come a couple weeks prior to the big shindig which helped out tons!

It was a special day for all four of my babies; and we were sure to wish Brock a special day too as we released a dozen balloons just for him.

That next week; the move process commenced! A memorable event it was sure to be! The movers packed our home one day, took it the next day, and after roughing it one night, we lived in a hotel the next few days before starting the drive. My sister came down to help us back and got to experience our tiny one bedroom TLF with us! Three adults, three babies, two cats and a made for close quarters! We survived as we counted down the days until the big drive!

All of us adults got up early to load the uhaul and vehicles so when the babies woke up, we could leave. We initially thought of driving at night, but I am not the best night owl around...I NEED sleep! We left around 7:30 and every hour became increasingly worse! Jeff had all things animal and I had all things kids! The kids started out loving life as gypsies....until about five hours into the drive! Camden wanted nothing to do with confinement of a car seat; the kid wanted out and was sure to announce his unhappiness quite loudly! (let me say we prior planned by getting dual DVD players and tons of Nick Jr shows)! We stopped for lunch and dinner only and then continued on our journey. 15 hours later and we made it to our pit stop for the night at Biloxi! ANGRY babies, exhausted adults, and easy going animals...WE MADE IT! We unloaded and put babies to bed in 0-60.

I have never enjoyed a night's sleep so much more! Good thing babies slept solid too so no one's sleep was compromised! We got up the next morning to what seemed like a monsoon (coming from San Antonio where rain seemed non existent). A quick Wal Mart run to get Yo Gabba Gabba DVDs which we discovered was crack for kids and we were ready to load up once again. The realization that we were almost home set in when we met Jeff's brother and family for lunch. How refreshing it is to be so close to family that the boys will now get to grow to know!

Four hours later, and I was back home at my Momma's house. How sweet it is! We invaded her home for a week until our house was ready on Eglin AFB...none of us minded at all! Even sweeter, I am able to go and see my sweet Brock whenever I want or need to. On the outside I have remained strong for my boys, not wanting them to see their Momma grieve....on the inside, I I have been yearning to just break down and let it out. 8 months have gone by and I will be for the first to say; it does not get easier. And for the comments that we have been told time and time again, "at least you have three others"...50 kids could not replace one who was lost. Period. It is a hurt and emptiness beyond words and I just don't think that feeling will go away. That being said, we are a testament as to all things happen for a reason, as Grayson is healed and recovered from the same disease that Brock had; for that, I am blessed times four!
1st Bday Party in San Antonio!

Waking Daddy up in TLF

Our 1 Bedroom TLF

1st Time Meeting The Great Grands!

Having fun playing at Nana and Granpa's House!!!

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Over the Hump...

It has been awhile since I have updated and will keep my promise to myself to remain faithful with posting! What a couple of months it has been! Grayson's surgery went wonderful without the need for a colostomy. About a foot of intestine was removed and reconnected. After under a week stay in the hospital he was reunited with his brothers. Being home was not what I thought it would be. Grayson shrieked the second poo touched his rear and the poo was unceasing. My once happy baby, was a miserable and pained poor baby. At the surgery follow up we were taught how to dilate his rectum as it would initially have to be done twice a day to ensure scar tissue didn't seal off his rectum. An already crabby baby (with given right) was just angry with us every morning and night this had to be done. At the next follow up, I addressed the issue with the surgeon. She said she would contact a colon nurse and she would call with advice. It was a good week later but she called! She provided us supplies to form a crust on his butt. I know it sounds bizarre; but it worked!!!! After crusting his butt for a solid week, his bum scarred up and all open wounds were closed! He was beginning to be my happy baby again! Although he was still fussy, I knew it was not from pain but rather that all attention was not given just to Grayson.....he forgot for a minute that he was not the only child!!!!!

Now that Grayson was becoming the happy little boy he once was, I feel that we are finally on the up! The boys are growing faster than ever! They are cooing and babbling like crazy! Their personalities are just booming! They laugh, play, entertain one is just too neat! Keaton is getting up on all fours trying his hardest to crawl, but ends up doing a ton of rocking instead! Camden and Keaton has their first tooth popping up and Grayson is making strides in his development! It was so hard to see the light when my babies were not healthy; now, I see the light and look forward to the future!

My sister and her sweet Ella came for a week during Spring Break to visit! My oh my...Three 9 month olds and an almost 2 year old....IT WAS CRAZY!!!! But oh so fun! We were on go go go mode the entire week! We had two picture days, several mall days, a Momma's wine day and many trips to Cha Chos!!!! I needed that sister time and it made me look forward to our move date to Florida on May 1st even though it is just so bitter sweet. We have met such wonderful friends here!

Having been through all we have; I have truly come to accept that all will be well and for the better. I just hope to meet and have some amazing neighbors to hopefully continue on circle time, doctors that become more than just a sick visit, and friends to make new memories with. Life is good and blessed times four I am!!!!