Saturday, July 16, 2011

Week 32

It is still hard to think that even though it has been five weeks since my babies have graced the earth...they should still be in the safe haven of my womb. I often wonder how different life would be like for us if I were able to carry them just a week or two longer; if I could make the beginning of their lives easier, I would do it in a heart beat! I can play the "what if" game all day long and find myself becoming consumed with the idea; but I refuse. I know that there is a reason as to why my boys came when they did and why we are all enduring the road we were placed on; and if I may not see it in a positive way everyday...I know I will look back on what we have experienced and find only the good in it.

This week has been quite a week. We ended last week with Brock having multiple apneas in a short period of time but no conclusion as to why they have become so frequent. His feeds were stopped for a couple of days but have now slowly started back. The only thing that has came back was a blood culture that grew a tiny amount of bacteria signalling he had a very small UTI. I was informed that this was not the sole culprit of his issues; but the it is still not clear as to what is causing it. He is on several different antibiotics to cover all of the bases just to make sure. Camden started out with a rough week. His abdomen was distended and he had very large residuals after feedings. His feeds were stopped and Xrays and assessments made evident that his hernia had gotten quite big and was causing blockage in his stool. The Dr's pushed the hernia back in as much as possible as they will not do surgery until another 4 weeks so he is bigger and more able to handle the procedure ( all of the other boys also have hernias which will be corrected before leaving the NICU) or sooner if the hernia can no longer be pushed back in. He also has bloody stool which could be due from the hernia among other things...they are not certain as to why it is bloody, but they are assessing and getting films every several hours. His nurse showed me exactly what they do to push the hernia back in...needless to say it was painful for my little man and if I could take it away from him I would do so in a second! After her assessment; I was able to change his diaper and then make up for his hard day by kangarooing with him...this made the day better for the both of us!!!

We did have some fun to our week as Jeffrey was able to hold two babies at once!!! He got Daddy time with both Grayson and Camden on Sunday! It was just a precious sight! Grayson laid on Cam and Cam laid on Dad's shoulder. Both of the boys had their little hand on the same spot of their was just priceless!!! The nurses are so fun on the weekends in allowing us to do this and even became our photographers as they took our first family picture...well 1/2 a family picture anyway!!! I also washed and brought up all of the cute receiving blankets that I have so their beds would be well decorated! And oh so cute they are!!! I put a new monogrammed blanket on top of each isolette and also added a stuffed animal blanket to the tops....they just make their isolettes so inviting and a little more homey!!!

Jeff and I have began to conquer organizing baby things. It is frustrating instead of fun to me. I want so badly to be in a bigger house so I can set up their rooms and do the organizing and nesting right!!! However; I also know that we are in the military and things do not happen on our time or even by our circumstance!!! I just hope and pray that we will have a bigger house and will be settled in, prior to the boys coming home. If it shouldn't work out that way though,....I will be just as happy as a clam to have my babies home with me...even if we are popping out of the house!!! Times like these remind me to have patience and know (although it might now be easy) that everything will work out the way it is meant to.

We ended our week with eye exams. I learned my lesson with these! I was sitting down to kangaroo with Grayson when the doctor came in and said to dilate their eyes because the eye dr was on his way. Needless to say, kangarooing did not take place! As fast as the words went from one ear to another, I was out of there!!! Just like last exam, several of the boys became stressed during the traumatic event and had a rough evening and for Brock, a rough couple of days dealing with bradys.

On my way to the first Mom's of Multiples meetings, I called the nurses station to find out the results to the exams. I was told that all were unchanged except for Grayson whose eyes were the best!!! My face lit up as I was stuck in dreadful traffic to know that my little boy who has been the underdog throughout their first few weeks of now the best at something!!! The feeling was short lived as the following morning the doctor stopped me to tell me that his eyes were zone two stage 1. Long explanation short, you want for the stage to be 0; so him being a 1 is not terrible...but we don't want the number to creep up!!! We definitely do not want the stage to rise to be a 3 or a 4!!!!

Back to my meeting!!! I arrived at 6 ish to meet the other new and expectant moms! There were several there that night; by what I understand, more than usual. I was under the assumption that here I would be amongst women who were in my same boat. And althoughI got some WONDERFUL tips and met some amazing women, I was quickly reminded of how rare having quads really are!! I have come to find our situation "normal"...I live it everyday. It is when I say that I have quad boys and I see the faces drop...I realize we are not normal...even among multiples!

We ended the week with the doctors coming to the conclusion that Camden's hernia was the cause of his issues and he is doing quite well; full feeds and only the .5 litres of oxygen which is no longer given through the Vapotherm...just the wall! After receiving the full course of antibiotics and receiving blood, Brock is on the rise. He is still bradying and having frequent apneas; however, it is not nearly as bad as they were. His oxygen is slowly being weened back to where it was prior to him getting sick along with his feeds. Grayson's lungs were filling back with fluid causing his oxygen support to be increased; but after receiving lasics (which he will get daily for weeks up to months) he is weening back down (a blood transfusion was also given to perk him up)! Keaton is being a good boy; just chilling out where he has been.

 I couldn't imagine life any differently; I embrace my family of six and am so proud at how far my boys have come, despite the minor setbacks we encounter daily. When I look into the precious little eyes of my boys', I am left in awe as to how wonderful of a life we have been given!

Dad kangarooing Cam and Grayson

1st half of a family photo

Brock being a sweet boy

Keaton thinking

Grayson's new favorite position...we cal it the "hallelujah"!

Camden snuggling

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