A mother's love...I never thought this bond would be sooo strong even before my bundles graced me with their presence; but it is. Before being pregnant with my boys, my cats and lizard were my "kids" and the love I have for them is beyond words (the way I speak about them, most would think they were human children rather than animals). My love and bond I have with my growing babies is a million times that I have for my animal children. Just days ago I was worrying about getting at least one nursery completed and lived on the hope for getting a PCS back home to Panama City. Little did I know that my concerns and cares would abruptly shift.
Just like usual, this past Wednesday was our appointment with our high risk Dr. I had already prepared myself for a long afternoon as I would more than likely have to have an iron transfusion...however; I did not expect for what we would be faced with. They routinely checked each baby's heart rate and my cervical length. Measuring my cervix usually takes a matter of a minute or two; I should have known something was out of the norm when it took nearly ten. A resident was the one checking, and when he uttered the number 2.8cm, my heart sank. I am fairly aware of all of my norms and numbers and knew that 2.8cm was a strong difference from the 3.8cm it was the prior Monday. He was unsure of his number so he went and got my actual high risk OB to have a second opinion. Once he had checked and rechecked; he found my cervix to be between 3.1-3.2cm. Much better from the 2.8cm, but a far stretch from the week's previous measurement. Mother's worrying instinct began to set in as he explained when I would get the iron transfusion I would also be monitored for contractions that could be shortening my cervix.
After a quick bite to eat, Jeff and I went back to labor and delivery to get the iron and to monitor the contractions. At the appointment, we were told that bed rest at home would be starting as soon as we went home. Little did I know that bed rest would end up in the hospital indefinitely until the boys are born. I walked into the appointment thinking everything was dandy and well; and walked out of the transfusion room a wreck to a hospital room that was anything but like home. I didn't know if I should worry about my cats, what to have Jeff bring, whether I was going into labor, or what...I was a whirlwind of emotions (& still a bit that way if I am to be truthful). After seeing what felt like 10 different Doctors and hearing what seemed like 10 different answers as to why all of this was happening; I was left with the notion that I was having contractions which ultimately caused my cervix to shorten. I automatically began to think of what I did to cause this, how I should have not done so much at home, how I should have felt a contraction prior to being told I was having them.
I was told for weeks now to expect to be admitted between weeks 20-24...being admitted at 18 and some days turned my world upside down. I am a planner and control freak by nature; so not having control or not being aware that this is where we were headed left me a mess of emotions. I am so happy I am married to the nurturing and loving man that I am; especially living so far from family and friends. He instantly went home and brought back every comfort item possible to make this indefinite stay a little more tolerable. As soon as I got into my new home away from home, I was given medicine that I would take every eight hours for forty eight hours to stop the contractions. The first night I was monitored non stop for contraction; which were lessening. Thursday came and I was graced with physical therapy and nutrition. If there is one positive to my two month stay, it is knowing that I get to choose what I eat (to a certain extent). Good thing burgers and fries are always an option as I could nearly live off of just that:) Wednesday night and Thursday were very emotional and trying. I also thought I still had the chance of going home once the contractions had stopped; well they never fully stopped and I am not going home!!! But everything could be worse. I am blessed nonetheless and have the same sense of peace I had when I first found out about the quads.
Friday started out just lovely!! The mattress I had the first two days was causing me to sink and sleep and comfort were not attainable! I brought it to the nurse's attention on Thursday morning and she said an egg crate mattress was ordered. Friday a patient advocate started into the room with the egg mattress....it was a rolled up piece of foam!!!! I didn't complain but was not thrilled. She must have noticed my expression when she instantly said she did better than the egg crate; another man wheeled in the mother of all hospital beds. My face instantly lit up...Oh the small things:) She got the bed from the ICU and it is just wonderful (comparatively speaking). Friday seemed to be going great and that my uterus was calming down...until later that night. I began to feel the contractions in my back and knew that when I was being monitored for the contractions that it did not look good again. On top of the endocin I was given for the initial 48 hours to stop the contractions; I was also given a blood pressure medicine that was suppose to calm the uterus. Saturday we were blessed with less contractions and also with an ultrasound of the boys. Come to find out, we will get an ultrasound daily to review the boys heart rates and such. I have now begun to feel the actual kicks and pushes rather than just flutters. Baby A (Brock) is the closest to my cervix and is the wild child; the ultrasound proved the same!!!! Then we have out flasher who is obviously proud of hin man hood as every time he is on the screes he shows his goods off!! Another baby always has his hands by his chin and is chilled out while the other just looks like he wants his space; as you see his neighboring brothers limbs pushing through the membrane that separates each boy. Moments like these remind me of why I am here and make living in the hospital completely worth it. It is not hard to find complaints, whether it be the food or the mattress or the solitude; but I am four times blessed which their constant movements remind me!!!!
Today is Sunday, the beginning of a new week. I know with all of the weeks to come trials and tribulations will set in as the pregnancy progresses. At the same time, I know with all of my heart as I sit blogging with just the company of the TV; I am not alone. God knew what he was doing the second he graciously put these four boys in my stomach; and he is constantly in control and will see us all through until the boys are ready to come into the world!!!
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