The last time my cervix was checked was the day I was admitted; last Wednesday. I am anxiously awaiting for them to come and get me to go to the COB (Complicated OB Clinic) to get my cervix checked. I have decided (as hard as it is for me to relinquish control) to completely stand on faith and believe that my cervix will be obedient and stay as long as possible (I pray it will grow back to its starting point) and that the contractions stop. I was talking to my Dad last night and he was reiterating how important it what to tell my body what it is going to do and pray for the same, rather then worrying about the what ifs (as what ifs are not standing on faith). Even though, worrying is in my nature I am giving the weakness to God and believing only positive; who knows, I might get wheeled into the clinic for my cerix to have grown and then when they have no explanation and I enlighten them:) Anything is possible!!!
I could sit here and throw myself a pity party and say how hard and terrible and boring staying in a hospital bed can be (which all of those are true), but I must admit time has continued to pass. I am not a big TV person so I leave it on for background noise; but keep myself busy with puzzles (Soduko happens to be a bit addiciting)!!! And when things good to mundane; why not throw some excitement into the day!!! This past Monday I was showering and was obviously enjoying it too much to realize I was flooding my bathroom floor. As I finished and went to grab for a towell I noticed the "great flood." I am sure the nurse and housekeeping was thrilled with that one!!!
Well, here I sit after getting the news I was not prepared for but seep down afraid of getting. My cervix shortened to a low of 1.8cm; not good and I knew that. The Dr that told me the news had just started her rotation for two weeks; thank God for her. We have been told this entire time that a cerclage was completely out of the question as there is not much research for multiples and is unchartered territory. She told me she felt that if they just kept pummping me with medicine that obviously was not stopping the contractions enough to give my cervix a brake; than she thought she would waqtch me go into labor. She brought up the idea of a cerclage and how at this point it was worth giving it a try despite our odds and the risks; but wanted to get all of the 4 high risk OBs input and education before deciding. About an hour later she came in with a 3rd year resident who had been doing my daily ultrasounds and told me that they were split; two were for it and two were completely against it and the decision was ultimately up to me. Really?! I am not a Dr and am an emotional wreck at this point; how do I decide what to do without adequate information, other than the terrible risks; hurt my bladder, brake my water, go into full labor....at this poing this is the hardest decision I have been faced in making. She gave us about an hour to discuss our options. Once talking the pros and cons over and saying some long prayers; both Jeff and I were at peace with getting the circlage. It was the longest night ever; not knowing how the surgery the next morning would go...but as I have said from the start of this journey; I just feel that in the end i will have 4 beautiful babies.
Beside a few minor complications; the surgery went well; although it would not be known if preterm labor, etc would occur until a bit later. I was given Magnesium to calm my cervix and uterus from contracting as the cerclage does initially put the cervix into stress. I was the normal over paranoid mom being overly concerned with every contraction or foreign sight I saw. The next day came and we had feared that something was wrong as there was more fluid than normal. After being checked we were relieved with the blessing that God did answer my prayer of my cervix growing; just not in the way I had originally anticipated. My cervix was just as long as it was at the start of my pregnancy.
Just as things were looking up; Saturday took us by surprise. My heart was racing the duration of the day, the fluid was greater than even the previous, and I just did not feel well at all. It took several hours after consulting our nurse that I was taken to triage to get examined further. All they could tell me was something was wrong but wanted to perform a CT scan on top of numerous blood and urine tests to help determine the decline in my health. I can only go through so much until having to call for mom to come down. She booked a flight for the following morning. Jeff's mother drove down with his sister that day before all of this had set in to help Jeff juggle home, work, and being at the hospital. The CT scan came back semi- clear. They dye was not left in long enough for them to know if I had a blood clot in my lowers lungs but they were able to see I had developed hospital pneumonia. I was given a one on one nurse and the antibiotics began to flow as the tests and cultures continued (I was assured that even if an infection had settled in; the antibiotics were of such power that it too would be conquered). The next day after receiving the loading doses of the multiple antibiotics I began to feel a bit better.
Never have I been so relieved to see my mother's face; mamma's just have a way of making things better. Knowing that prayers were being poured into the heavens from all over I was comforted.
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| The boys at 19 weeks; not the best pictures since my emotions were flowing and my stomach wasn't still; but still my little boys. |
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